Hermione Remembers
by emotionsovrflow
Summary: Hermione/Ginny, SPOILERS for entire series. Mentions of character death (canon).


After the fall of Voldemort, Hermione Granger found herself touring what she now, in retrospect, has begun to think of as "the funeral circuit." It was hard; watching so many friends and acquaintances being laid to rest. She found each service to be difficult, but there were some that were harder than others.

Hermione remembers getting ready for Fred's funeral. Picking out her clothes and dressing with meticulous attention being payed to every last detail. It was how her brain worked to begin with, and also served to keep her distracted enough so that she could pretend she didn't remember all the pain and loss she and her friends had suffered. And besides, she wanted to look nice for Fred. She needed to look nice for him.

She remembers the crushing sadness of the day. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley sitting, solemn and slumped. Fleur quietly consoling Bill. Charlie, Ron and Harry consoling Percy, George and themselves with firewhiskey. And she remembers Ginny; alone in a far hallway, gazing through lashes and tears at a picture of the entire Weasley family.

Hermione remembers advancing on the girl, who looked both incredibly young and incredibly aged at the same time. She remembers bringing her hand up to brush salty sadness and stray strands of hair from Ginny's freckled face. Ginny turning to look at Hermione, her eyes seeming to plead for something. Hermione recognizing that that something was comfort.

She remembers bringing her lips to Ginny's. Ginny's lips softening and parting and accepting; searching for the comfort that both girls knew couldn't be achieved with this one soft kiss in this hallway on this day. Ginny breaking the kiss, but initiating eye contact and an interlocking of fingers. She remembers the tug of the younger girl's hand, leading her to a place where a more enveloping comfort could be satisfied. If only for a brief bit.

Hermione remembers crying before attending services for Colin Creevey. Arriving with Harry, hoping that her earlier release of emotion would help ebb the flow. She remembers familiar faces greeting her. She remembers realizing that it may be years before these faces greet her again with smiles instead of nods and dropped voices. Happiness instead of shared sorrow.

She remembers a flash of red. Looking across a crowd to see Ron greeting and nodding and, she assumed, dropping his voice to deliver polite "hello"s. She remembers seeing Ginny emerge from behind him. Hermione remembers. And her heart jumps in her chest.

Hermione remembers stealing glances of her friend. Her friend stealing glances of her. She remembers Ginny slightly gesturing in a direction away from the somber atmosphere of the evening. She remembers following without question. Being led to a quiet, dark spot outside; under a fragrant, floral tree that reminded Hermione of spring and life and rightness in the world.

She remembers finding comfort under that tree. Finding comfort in the scent of the magnolia and the feel of the grass on her skin and the feel of Ginny's tongue meeting her own; the thrust of Ginny's hips meeting her own. She remembers an explosive orgasm followed by an explosive burst of fresh tears. Tears for Colin and his parents and Dennis and Fred and all the Weasleys and Harry and herself. She remembers Ginny kissing her face, tears from both girls making a slick path down their cheeks.

Hermione remembers this morning. Dreading the joined service planned for the evening to honor Tonks and Lupin. Grateful that this will be the last gathering of this sort for the foreseeable future. She remembers another emotion sweeping over her. One not as easily defined as the bold gloom and woe she had become accustomed to. Hermione remembers the guilt that floods her mind upon identifying this new, confusing feeling as a mixture of anticipation, hope and uncertainty. Identifying the fact that she somehow, in some hidden part of her inner consciousness, felt as though she were getting ready for a date.

She remembers Ginny holding Teddy, genuine delight bringing color back into a face that has seemed so pale in recent weeks. Pale except for in those few moments of late that Hermione actually likes to remember. She remembers the redhead handing Teddy off to the next person in need of a warm squirming bundle of ignorant bliss and some color in their face.

Now, after everyone has gone home, gone to bed; Hermione and Ginny lay together, arms wrapped around one another, legs entwined, their breath slowing after comforting each other again following another wretched day. Just as Hermione is about to drift to sleep, Ginny wonders aloud, "so I guess this is it then?"

Hermione is quiet for a moment, not sure how to respond. She decides to let Ginny run with this train of though for a bit. "Do you want this to be it?"

"It just seems to me like this has all been some sort of morbid recurring event. I assumed that with no more funerals on the horizon, maybe our... meetings would stop as well."

Again, Hermione is quiet; until she starts to remember something. "After we had to leave Grimmauld Place; Harry, Ron and I; we had to hide in the forest for a while. Living in a tent. Everyone was very tense and frustrated, and at one point, Ron got hot and went off for a bit. I was so worried the entire time he was gone. I was worried for Harry and myself. With Ron gone, it seemed as if something had broken. Something was missing, and there wasn't a way to fill the space. I was worried about Ron; wondering where he was, if he was alone, and if he wasn't alone, what sort of people had he found himself with. I was worried about my parents who didn't even know they had a daughter. I spent a lot of time reading, studying, trying to find some sort of clue that might lead us to any kind of hope. But I couldn't stop worrying. No matter how far I buried my nose in books, I would find my mind drifting back. Wondering if Ron was gone for good, even if he was alright. Maybe he had had it with me. I had grown to consider all of you family. Ron and George... and Fred. Bill and Charlie, and even Percy. Your parents... My family. I was terrified that I could have lost all of that." At this, Hermione pauses, taking a moment to establish eye contact. "I was so afraid that I had lost you, Gin. You specifically. I remember that distinctly. Fearing that you would no longer be in my life."

Ginny tightens her grip around the brunette. "I'm right here, 'Mione. You haven't lost me."

"But this... This comfort that we've found in each other, I don't want to lose this either. We've all lost so much. If you don't want to continue, I'll understand. But it would be a loss. Another loss. At least to me it would be."

Hermione feels soft lips on her forehead. "I don't want to lose this either."

One last, lingering kiss is shared for the evening. Hermione falls asleep, hoping that next time maybe they can find something other than comfort in each other's embrace.


End file.
